Wednesday, June 3, 2009

Another chance?

Not more than a week ago, I was looking into a future I thought would be... a picture of me sitting alone at my home, while my husband was away at work - jobless- not because of the lack of things to do... just "unemployed".I tried to look at all the things I could do with the time that would be on my hands... all the activities that had taken a back seat the past 5 years or so... Playing in the evenings, reading, writing... maybe I could even learn a new instrument - the guitar maybe... Finally I would have the time to do things that I love the most... and no excuses...
A phone call changed everything that I had dreamed would be - and the exaltation at the news was something I had not expected, and I haven't understood yet.
Another chance to hide behind infinite excuses so I won't have to explore anything new... another chance to slide into a lifestyle I don't like but don't want to move out of simply beccause I am too comfortable in this discomfort...A conscious decision is difficult to make? Only situations can push you to do what you like to do? I thought otherwise... that situations made people do what they didn't want to do... Seems like that's not how things work any more. Reminds me of one of our college T-shirt punch lines - " I am totally in control. It's the situation that's out of hand!"
Got to get down to doing something about this... Am tired of my lame excuses.

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