Doing little things...

I had made a list a few weeks back... and I have been ticking things off one by one.
I have read about 3 books, I've started writing in a new blog... managed to catch up with a few old friends :-) Things are pretty much on track so far...

The topping is this... I will be starting guitar classes tomorrow! I am super-excited about it! ;) Hope I can continue with the same zeal :)

Writing again....

I have been particularly superstitious about this latest effort of mine. Scared to talk about it coz I am afraid the enthu with which I have started this mini-project may collapse the instant i share it with my friends.

But in fact, I did share with some of my colleagues, and have found great encouragement from all of them. I am really thankful to them :-)

My latest writing effort is at:
http://pravy-endlessroads.blogspot.com

A short story... I am taking it a page at a time... and since the publishing is in chronological order starting the latest first, it will only make sense when it is read bottom-up! ;)

Trrrrrringg...

At the other end of the line
I hear the voice of that friend again...
I never did think I'd be this lucky
Gettin' in touch with her was sure tricky!
But as Fate smiled and shed some light
On a long forgotten friendship, life seems more bright!

[Hoping that life has lots of such pleasant surprises in store for me :-)]

Leaving life behind?? No Way!

Life is too short and there are so many things I want to do before I go...

* Join Yoga classes - at least wanna take these classes for a month and then try and practice on my own everyday. I do it on my own sometimes... feel rejuvenated when I finish a half ahour session. Feel good. Wanna feel good more often! :)

* Join guitar classes - After the piano classes in school, haven't really been in touch with the musical side. Time to strike the chords again... Let's see how I go about this one.

* Try to cook at least one new dish every week. Don't know how long I will have the josh to do this, but really wanna try. I like to cook... I swear! Just that the hurried morning rush doesn't give me any time to experiment. So, at least on the week-end, wanna try something new. After all, "sab kuch pet ke liye hi karte hain naa?? " :-)

* Travel... To all the states in India. Ours is such a beautiful country, and I haven't really gotten down to do much traveling yet. So, putting it on the agenda. Now again, the wheels got to start rolling.

* Read a book a week... Fallen out of the habit. I can't imagine how I let this happen, but it has, and it's surprising! Got to get a membership in one of the libraries close to home and really get down to turning the pages.

* Write... seems like my life is limited to waking up in the mornings, cooking breakfast and lunch, rushing to work, returning, cook dinner, and then sleep. I have been giving myself lame excuses like lack of inspiration to write anything... but I think I have just stopped imagining!! And have started growing old!!! Got to stop this aging and release my mind from the boundaries that I've built.

* Catch up with old friends... Go back to those carefree days of laughter, and no responsibility... share a joke... spread some smiles...

Loads of things to do... a lot of it i didn't think I would need to put in extra effort for. But, seeing the way life is racing past, without a conscious effort, looks like I am just going to let things slip by... I am not letting that happen!!!

Good morning... :-)

I was at work, and had to answer Nature's call... so i paid a short visit to the rest-room. After relieving myself, I went to the basin to wash my hands and there was this house-keeping lady cleaning the area. She turned around - a white mask covered face(the "pig fever" scare - it is mandatory for all the odd jobs workers to wear masks)- the only visible feature were here bright, happy eyes - and through the mask she said "Good morning Madam", and I could see her eyes smiling. I wished her too... wondering how one could enjoy one's work so much, even if it was cleaning the mess that others make! I complain about the "white-collar" job I have - sitting at my comp in the A/C office with headphones feeding music into my ears constantly. And here is this dear lady, happy to be employed, singing to make light the work at hand. I am happy to be employed too... but I forget that sometimes!

She wished others who entered the area as well... but then, some are too busy to notice. Like a horse whose eyes are covered so it can focus only on the road ahead... the beauty of the little flowers and grass along the edges are missed.

I made small talk with her... asked her about the discomfort the mask must be causing. She said it was suffocating and uneasy to have it on all the time... but it is the safe thing to do, cause of the spreading virus...

I returned to my seat, promising to myself that I will make a conscious effort not to crib about work and enjoy it while it lasts. After all, it feeds me, keeps me occupied through day, and more than anything else, it gives me time to blog :-)

HAS SOMEONE REMINDED YOU TO BE HAPPY??

The Flight

[One of my really old ones... I probably would've published it if I had found my diary. I had luckily sent it for some online poetry contest of sorts... So here it is :-)]

Chains...
Liberty to move?
A question mark.
Commitments,responsibilities,
Expectant looks...PRESSURE.
The load holds me down.
"JOY,Bound to these earthly pleasures,
I'm unable to explore you."
"PEACE,I've no earthly time
To discover you."
Closed eyes,deep thoughts....
Darkness...
A ray of light.
THE ANSWER.I saw JOY within.
I saw PEACE within.
I saw the broken chains,
I felt the FREEDOM.
I flapped my wings.
I took THE FLIGHT.

No guts No glory :-)

I somehow garnered the guts to share my blog link with a few of my friends. I say "garnered the guts" coz I somehow seemed to be conscious about letting people know what I think, and basically allowing others to read and judge about the things I write. But, deep down, I am an aspiring writer... so I can't afford to shy away from criticism. So, I guess this is like the best way to get over it! By just writing away...

But something about blogging that makes me uncomfortable - I am afraid that I will start looking at things that happen around me and start classifying them into categories - "Events/things I can blog about" and "those that I cannot". No... I don't want that to happen... and I will make a conscious effort to not let that happen.

Let's see how this experiment goes... I want to get back to the old days when words would just come to me when I needed to express myself. The best way to move forward to go back is to just write...

Bidding farewell...

I hate to say "Bye"... And another "Adieu" day has passed...

My in-laws leftfor Jammu yesterday. It was a good one month with them... and the days just flew by and there we were... a standing at the threshold of another departure... standing outside the door of the compartment... looking at the clock and trying to put in all that can be said in those last few minutes... Promising to meet again soon...I don't know when I will be meeting them again...

I am just preparing myself to go home to an empty house - dark rooms that welcome me into their arms day after day for God knows how long! And some day, I hope this ends and my family will be together under one roof.

Growing Old

We were leaves that clung to a single tree.
Autumn came with her fiery orange and amber
To take each one separate ways with the wind.
No memories of the fellows that grew *together*,
And no isolated events remain in the mind.
Only an isolated thought of times Happy.

Anti-Gravity

In a daze
Right leg hanging
Above land
Thousands of feet away


A piece of rock
Left the top with the message
Of my arrival
Can't hear the delivery report
Splash.


Listless
Looking glass-eyed
Into the distance ahead
Blank in the head
One step
Away from the abyss


The left leg parts
From Earth
To kiss her again
Ere the final adieu


Started walking
Knowingly
Can't change the course
Anymore


A free fall.
No one controls again
But Gravity...

Oh! the exhilaration!
One last time
When the speedy wind
Tears at my skin
My eyes can't be forced open
To look down


She won't let go of me
Her grip strengthens
As I come lower

Release the trap.
Easing my fall
As the air fills into the flaps
The chute opens
And I float
Towards the abyss
That held my End.

Beginnings

The cartons lie strewn across the floor,
I've been through each of them in vain.
Five years I've spent in this search...
But rewarded with nothing but pain!
My writings, my feelings I'd stored away,
In a diary I want to write in again...

How hard to pick up a new diary and start
To capture transient moments in ink?!
The book, I fear, may remain fresh,
With no words to write als thoughts to think.
What would I have to look forward to?
Adrift in the wild sea awaiting to sink?

The lost book holds me in a terrifying grip
Egging me on to resume from where I left last
It pushes me into another frenzied search
Possessed I remain by the haunting past...

Devastated I am by another futile search
What now? How do I get out of this lurch?

Another chance?

Not more than a week ago, I was looking into a future I thought would be... a picture of me sitting alone at my home, while my husband was away at work - jobless- not because of the lack of things to do... just "unemployed".I tried to look at all the things I could do with the time that would be on my hands... all the activities that had taken a back seat the past 5 years or so... Playing in the evenings, reading, writing... maybe I could even learn a new instrument - the guitar maybe... Finally I would have the time to do things that I love the most... and no excuses...
A phone call changed everything that I had dreamed would be - and the exaltation at the news was something I had not expected, and I haven't understood yet.
Another chance to hide behind infinite excuses so I won't have to explore anything new... another chance to slide into a lifestyle I don't like but don't want to move out of simply beccause I am too comfortable in this discomfort...A conscious decision is difficult to make? Only situations can push you to do what you like to do? I thought otherwise... that situations made people do what they didn't want to do... Seems like that's not how things work any more. Reminds me of one of our college T-shirt punch lines - " I am totally in control. It's the situation that's out of hand!"
Got to get down to doing something about this... Am tired of my lame excuses.