Tomorrow

I awoke to complete darkness. I wondered if I was trying to look at the world with closed eyes. No. It was just that the place was entirely devoid of light. I felt like I had been sucked into a black hole. "Black-hole - where the universe had set up a giant vacuum cleaner to suck up any light in the vicinity".

I groped in the dark for my crutches. My hands did not touch anything... I was not able to feel the floor on which I lay. I mused if I were afloat and smiled to myself. As if that were possible! I shook my head at this bizarre thought and tried to stand up, knowing that I may never succeed - what without my crutches and no floor or wall to support me! I was pleasantly surprised at the ease with which I was able to rise. Maybe there was a floor... a magic one!

I placed my right foot ahead. And then my left. I couldn't feel the movement in my limbs, although I was certain I must have moved. But there was no way for me to know if I had advanced or not. I only knew that there was no pain anymore. This filled me with a sense of happiness that was totally new to me. I wanted to walk, to run... till I tired... and I did run. I ran for all I was worth... for all the seven years of my life that I had not been able to walk... I ran. I wanted to run till my legs gave way when the magic wore off or until my weak lungs gave way, short of breath. Neither did.

The good doctor. The kind soul who blessed me with redemption from all the pain. The pain that I was cursed with by God in Heaven. The doctor - my God on Earth. If only he knew what it was like... this journey to heaven... and how grateful I feel for his act of perjury! Euthanasia -an absolutely disarming name for a blissful act. I'd simply say "SLEEP".

Vacuum. Didn't know this was how it felt. Empty.

No zephyr in this black-hole. My happiness was sucked up too... the way my pain had been. Just like the light and the air. Was I heaven-bound? But in heaven, there must be an ethereal glow. There must be the fragrance of flowers carried by the gentle breeze. There must be the rainbow and gardens and butterflies and sweet music... There must be happiness. Oh! Is there a heaven? Or am I cursed to spend my after-life also in Hell? Is this the beginning of after-the-end? Oh! I can't think... I feel the black around me moving in waves... I am swimming... I need to stay afloat...

I was doing a timeless float till tomorrow... that's when I will know where I will be...

Nothing. Just BLACK.

Unaffected

It happened again today. He stood waiting for her to turn around and smile. She just walked on... looking into the blue skies with small white clouds floating past.

She was the first person he had seen who walked this way. Like there was no yesterday. Like there will be no tomorrow. To her, there was only today - today with clouds kissing the blue sky , with the dancing sunflowers reaching out to the smiling sun, the thirsty waves that reached for the shores... Her world seemed "stand alone".

Had she always been like this? He wondered. He had known her for a couple of years now. He had managed to meet her "accidentally" loads of times, before he thought she could call him her friend. Once the "friendship" was established,he could meet her more freely. But had she seen through what he had done? Did she like him?

He was sure that she did not care to name their relationship. She wouldn't have cared for the chance meetings. It was more to boost his confidence that he created those opportunities. He let himself go back in time...

She walked past the gates of the house not caring to close it behind her. She stopped to pat Toto when he came wagging his tail to welcome her into the house. She spoke to the rose buds in the garden and then walked through the door.

He stood looking on. Waiting for her to turn around and smile at him.

Nothing

There are these times... when there is an idea that implants itself in my mind. Then, there are words that flow... almost uncontrollably... as if a dam has been opened and the pressure just released to translate into a forceful flow of emotions... as if the earth has just given way to the molten rock-the eruption of the volcano that can only cool off by burning everything it touches...

There is never a time when I am able to capture these outbursts... so I just let it happen - let the words come, become sentences, become feelings... become an outlet to everything while remaining inside... and then it disappears. Feels like the force of the water dwindles into a gentle river as it flows, like the volcano cools off to stand like a mountain that never knew fury...

I think of the whirlpool - it looks like a gentle spiralling of water at the surface... but the forces at the depth remain unknown... my words seem to flow, into the spiralling waters all the time...
But I am sure, one day the whirlpool will be beaten and the flow shall never be disrupted...

Ironic...

He said, "Small cars are better than big cars...
'No cars' is better than small cars!"

He makes software that is used in cars...

Free? Give me one more please!!

The manager stays in office everyday until snacks-time, so that he can have the free snacks and go home after that... He must be really well-paid, there is no doubt about it... but then, there it is... the 'free' attitude!! Doesn't matter that the food is going to cause some stomach problems... It's free... so why miss it??

He sure must be missing the free lunches that used to be served in the cafeteria...!!!

It's really not about the income/expense thing here... it really is the attitude... but who cares?? It's free...